prior authorization Archives - Blobhope Familyhttps://blobhope.biz/tag/prior-authorization/Life lessonsMon, 09 Feb 2026 22:46:07 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3Physician burnout shouldn’t be linked to resiliencehttps://blobhope.biz/physician-burnout-shouldnt-be-linked-to-resilience/https://blobhope.biz/physician-burnout-shouldnt-be-linked-to-resilience/#respondMon, 09 Feb 2026 22:46:07 +0000https://blobhope.biz/?p=4478Physician burnout is often framed as a resilience problemlike doctors just need thicker skin, better coping skills, or another mindfulness app. But the evidence points elsewhere: many physicians are already highly resilient, and burnout still thrives because the work environment is overloaded, inefficient, and morally distressing. In this in-depth guide, we break down why linking burnout to resilience can feel like blame, what actually drives burnout (documentation burden, EHR friction, prior authorization, staffing shortages, productivity pressure, and moral injury), and what organizations can do to fix it. You’ll also find practical, real-world examples and composite frontline experiences that show how burnout builds day by dayand how targeted system redesign can restore professional fulfillment. Resilience can help individuals recover, but it cannot substitute for better staffing, smarter workflows, and fewer administrative roadblocks.

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Somewhere in America right now, a physician is doing the “two-shift special”: clinic all day, then charting all night.
They’re not weak. They’re not “lacking grit.” They’re doing math. And the math is ugly: too many patients, too many clicks,
too many rules, too little time, and a work design that assumes humans come with unlimited batteries.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth we keep trying to yoga-breathe away: physician burnout is primarily a systems problem.
Treating it like an individual resilience deficit is like handing someone a better umbrella while leaving them in a hurricane.
Helpful? A little. Adequate? Not even close.

Burnout isn’t a “you problem”it’s an “us problem”

What burnout actually means (and what it doesn’t)

Clinician burnout is commonly described as a work-related syndrome marked by emotional exhaustion, cynicism or depersonalization,
and a reduced sense of effectiveness. It can overlap with depression and anxiety, but it’s not the same thingand it isn’t a character flaw.
Burnout is what happens when chronic workplace stress meets a workplace that refuses to change.

This matters because the “fix” depends on the diagnosis. If you diagnose burnout as “not resilient enough,” you’ll prescribe mindfulness apps.
If you diagnose burnout as “the work is unworkable,” you’ll redesign the work.

Yes, burnout numbers have improvedno, the problem isn’t solved

Recent national data suggest burnout symptoms among U.S. physicians have dropped from the pandemic-era peak, but rates remain high
and still exceed many other U.S. workers. Translation: progress is real, and the baseline is still too painful to call “normal.”

How “just be more resilient” became the default advice

Resilience is realbut it’s not the root cause

Resiliencethe ability to recover after stresscan be protective. Sleep, boundaries, social support, therapy, exercise, spiritual practices,
time off: these can help a physician survive a brutal week. But survival isn’t the same as sustainability.

Here’s the kicker: studies comparing physicians with other U.S. workers have found physicians often score higher on resilience,
yet still experience substantial burnout. In other words, plenty of very resilient doctors are still burning outbecause resilience can’t
out-muscle a broken system forever.

When resilience talk turns into blame (and why that backfires)

The resilience narrative often arrives with good intentionsleaders want to “support wellness,” programs want to “reduce stress.”
But when the message becomes “you should cope better,” it lands like blame. It can also feel like a bait-and-switch:
“We hear you’re drowning. Have you tried swimming harder?”

Even worse, resilience-first solutions can become a convenient detour around the harder work of changing staffing models, documentation demands,
EHR workflows, scheduling, and leadership culture. A breathing exercise won’t cancel a mountain of prior authorizations. (If it did, we’d all be
certified in Advanced Breath-Life Support.)

The real drivers of physician burnout (and why they’re mostly systemic)

1) Administrative overload: documentation, clicks, and “pajama time”

Modern physicians don’t just practice medicinethey practice data entry. Documentation requirements, inbox message volume,
quality reporting, billing rules, and EHR usability issues can turn a clinical day into a clerical marathon. Many physicians end up
doing “work after work” at night or on weekends to finish notes and manage messages.

It’s not that documentation is pointless. Notes matter. Coordination matters. But when the system demands exhaustive documentation
without giving time, tools, or team support, it quietly steals the parts of medicine that energize clinicians: thinking, connecting,
examining, explaining, and actually caring for people.

2) Prior authorization: the unpaid second job

Prior authorization is where clinical judgment goes to wait on hold. The friction isn’t just annoyingit’s demoralizing.
Physicians report spending significant time and staff effort on approvals, appeals, and paperwork that can delay patient care
and derail clinic flow. The physician’s day fractures into interruptions, follow-ups, and “why are we doing this again?” moments.

When a system repeatedly blocks timely care, it doesn’t just create stressit creates moral distress:
the feeling of knowing what a patient needs and being unable to deliver it because of external constraints.

3) Staffing shortages and relentless workload

Burnout isn’t only about being busy; it’s about being busy in a way that feels endless and uncontrollable.
Short staffing pushes more tasks onto physicians: rooming gaps, extra calls, paperwork triage, covering colleagues,
and “just one more patient” squeezed into a schedule already packed tighter than a carry-on bag at the gate.

Workload isn’t just the number of patients. It’s complexity, time pressure, and the invisible laborcoaching, coordinating,
documenting, troubleshooting, comfortingthat doesn’t fit neatly into productivity metrics.

4) Loss of autonomy and productivity pressure

Physicians trained to make nuanced clinical decisions can feel trapped by rigid templates, throughput expectations, and performance dashboards
that reward volume over value. When clinicians lack control over their schedules, inbox load, visit lengths, or staffing support,
burnout risk climbs.

Autonomy isn’t about ego. It’s about having the ability to do the job wellwithout being forced into shortcuts that compromise care
or conflict with professional values.

5) Moral injury: when the system blocks good medicine

Some clinicians describe their experience less as “burnout” and more as moral injurythe distress that arises when people
are prevented from doing what they believe is right, or feel complicit in a system that conflicts with their ethical commitments.
When physicians spend more time clicking boxes than listening to patients, or when care is delayed by bureaucracy,
the emotional cost isn’t just fatigueit’s grief and frustration.

This is one reason the resilience framing falls flat: it quietly implies the main issue is the clinician’s coping skills,
when the deeper wound is the mismatch between the profession’s purpose and the system’s constraints.

What works better than resilience slogans

Start where the evidence points: redesign the work environment

Major national reports and public health guidance increasingly emphasize systems approaches: fixing the conditions that produce chronic stress,
not merely teaching individuals to endure it. That means looking at the job the way you’d look at any high-stakes workplace:
demands, resources, workflows, staffing, leadership behavior, and the policies that shape daily reality.

High-impact organizational moves (that don’t require magic)

  • Reduce documentation burden: streamline note requirements, eliminate redundant fields, standardize templates that help rather than hinder,
    and give protected time for documentation when needed.
  • Improve EHR usability: optimize order sets, inbox routing, and shortcuts; provide training tailored to specialties; and fix “death by a thousand clicks”
    workflows that waste cognitive energy.
  • Team-based care and top-of-license work: shift tasks that don’t require an MD/DO (forms, routine refills, screening protocols)
    to trained team members with clear protocols.
  • Invest in staffing where it changes the day: adequate MAs, nurses, care coordinators, and front-desk support reduce the “everything is my job” feeling.
  • Cut low-value administrative hurdles: prioritize prior authorization reform, standardized criteria, faster decisions, and fewer “gotcha” denials.
  • Leadership behaviors that actually matter: visible support, transparent decision-making, listening sessions that lead to real change,
    and accountability for toxic culture.
  • Schedule control and flexibility: predictable time off, reasonable panel sizes, sane patient volumes, and the ability to adjust
    visit lengths for complexity.

Technology can helpwhen it’s deployed as relief, not surveillance

Not all tech reduces burden. Some tools add it. But certain approaches show promise when used thoughtfullyespecially those that reduce clerical work.
For example, “ambient” documentation tools (often called AI scribes) can draft notes from clinical conversations for clinician review,
potentially cutting documentation time and after-hours charting. The key is implementation: training, privacy safeguards, realistic expectations,
and clinician choice. Technology should remove friction, not introduce a new layer of stress.

What health systems and leaders can do this quarter (yes, this quarter)

1) Measure the right thingsand share them

You can’t manage what you won’t measure. Track burnout and well-being with validated tools, but also track the drivers:
after-hours EHR time, inbox volume, staffing ratios, visit lengths, prior auth turnaround, turnover, and vacancy rates.
Then share results transparently. Nothing breaks trust faster than pretending the problem is mysterious.

2) Co-design fixes with the people doing the work

If your “wellness solution” was designed without frontline clinicians, it’s probably a poster. (A beautiful poster, surebut still a poster.)
Create rapid feedback loops: pilot changes in one clinic, measure impact, refine, scale. Let clinicians tell you what’s burning them out,
and believe them the first time.

3) Make “time” a safety issue, not a perk

In medicine, time isn’t a luxuryit’s a prerequisite for accuracy, empathy, and safe decision-making.
If clinicians are consistently staying late to finish notes, that’s not “dedication.” That’s a workflow failure.
Protect time for documentation and care coordination, and aim to reduce the need for it through better systems.

4) Put real money behind well-being

A meditation app subscription cannot substitute for adequate staffing, EHR optimization, or prior authorization support.
Budget for operational fixes. Fund improvement teams. Upgrade workflows. Pay for scribes or documentation support if appropriate.
Offer confidential mental health services with minimal barriers. If the problem is expensive, that’s because burnout already is
it just shows up as turnover, reduced capacity, and compromised care.

What physicians can dowithout accepting the blame

Physicians deserve tools to protect themselves, even while fighting for systemic change. Think of this as personal protective equipment
for an imperfect workplacenot a cure for the workplace itself.

  • Name the problem accurately: “I’m experiencing burnout” is different from “I’m failing.”
  • Track your friction: what tasks drain you mostEHR inbox, prior auth, staffing gaps? Data strengthens your case for change.
  • Build micro-boundaries: small, repeatable rules (like inbox batching or protected note time) can reduce chaos.
  • Use team support where available: delegate appropriately; don’t do top-of-license work at the bottom of your license.
  • Seek confidential support early: peer support programs, therapy, coaching, or EAP resources can helpespecially before burnout becomes a crisis.

These steps can help a physician endure. But leaders should never point to these as the “solution.”
The goal is not to create tougher doctors. The goal is to create a healthcare system that doesn’t require toughness just to be sustainable.

Bottom line: stop grading doctors on “toughness” and start redesigning care

Linking physician burnout to resilience may feel motivating in a self-help sort of way, but it’s ultimately misdirected.
Physicians, on average, are already highly resilient. Burnout persists because the work environment is often designed in ways
that generate chronic stress, administrative overload, and moral distress.

If we want real improvement, we have to stop asking, “Why can’t doctors handle this?” and start asking,
“Why is this job structured in a way that breaks the people doing it?” That question leads to staffing changes,
workflow redesign, documentation relief, better leadership, and fewer administrative obstacleschanges that help everyone,
including patients.

Resilience is a helpful human trait. It is not a healthcare strategy.

The following experiences are compositesblended from common themes physicians describe in surveys, interviews, and everyday professional conversations.
They’re not meant to diagnose anyone. They’re meant to show what “systems problem” looks like in real life.

The primary care physician and the inbox that never sleeps

A family physician finishes the last patient at 5:10 p.m. The clinic lights dim, but the work doesn’t.
There are lab results, refill requests, portal messages, insurance forms, and a handful of “urgent” questions that arrived at 4:58.
The physician wants to answer carefullybecause the message might be a subtle symptom of something serious, or a medication side effect
that needs nuance. But the schedule doesn’t include “nuance time.” So the doctor stays.

Later, someone suggests a resilience workshop: “Try a gratitude journal.” The physician isn’t against gratitude.
They’re against pretending gratitude can replace staffing, realistic panel sizes, and inbox triage protocols.
What they really want is to be home for dinner without feeling like they abandoned their patients.

The emergency physician and the moral weight of “no beds”

An emergency physician is trained for urgency and uncertainty, but not for holding patients for hoursor daysbecause inpatient beds are unavailable.
The ED becomes a waiting room for the whole system. The physician spends time apologizing for delays they can’t fix,
managing rising patient frustration, and worrying about safety when hallway care becomes routine.

A colleague says, “You just have to be more resilient.” The doctor hears, “You should feel less.”
But the problem isn’t the feeling. The problem is that the system keeps placing clinicians in situations where good medicine is difficult,
and sometimes impossible. That’s not a resilience failure. That’s moral distress with a badge scanner.

The resident who learns efficiencybut at a personal cost

A resident physician becomes impressively efficient: quicker notes, faster orders, smoother sign-outs. On paper, it looks like growth.
In reality, the resident is optimizing for survivalsleep-deprived, skipping meals, and constantly switching tasks.
When asked how they’re doing, the resident says, “Fine,” because the culture rewards toughness and punishes vulnerability.

A wellness lecture lands with mixed emotions. The resident appreciates the intention but wonders why the training environment still
tolerates chronic overload. They don’t need a poster reminding them to drink water. They need schedules that respect recovery,
staffing that prevents dangerous workload spikes, and permission to be human without fear of judgment.

The specialist and the prior authorization spiral

A specialist recommends a standard test and a guideline-supported medication. The patient agrees, relieved there’s a plan.
Then the prior authorization denial arrives. The physician’s office scramblescalls, forms, more forms, peer-to-peer reviews
that require the physician to step out of clinic. The patient’s condition worsens while everyone waits.

By the time the approval comes through, the physician feels exhaustedand angry. Not because the day was busy,
but because the work felt like fighting the system instead of treating the patient. When someone frames this as a resilience issue,
it feels like gaslighting. The physician didn’t fail to cope. The system failed to function.

The quiet moment that explains everything

Across these stories, there’s often one quiet, repeating moment: a physician sitting alone after hours, staring at a screen,
finishing work that exists because the system couldn’tor wouldn’tdesign a better way. That moment is where burnout grows.
Not from a lack of personal strength, but from repeated exposure to preventable friction, lost autonomy, and values-conflicting barriers.

If we want physicians to thrive, we should stop treating resilience as the main lever. Resilience helps people recover from hard work.
It does not justify hard work that is unnecessarily hard.

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A physician-comedian on the ridiculousness of paperwork and health insurershttps://blobhope.biz/a-physician-comedian-on-the-ridiculousness-of-paperwork-and-health-insurers/https://blobhope.biz/a-physician-comedian-on-the-ridiculousness-of-paperwork-and-health-insurers/#respondTue, 13 Jan 2026 14:46:11 +0000https://blobhope.biz/?p=950Paperwork is the invisible patient in every U.S. exam room. This in-depth (and slightly sarcastic) guide follows a physician-comedian’s view of how health insurance bureaucracyprior authorization, step therapy, peer-to-peer reviews, and EHR “pajama time”turns routine care into a maze. You’ll learn why these hurdles exist, how they can delay care and burn out teams, what recent policy and insurer changes are trying to fix, and practical tips for patients and practices navigating denials and appeals. If you’ve ever wondered why getting an MRI or medication can feel like winning a game show, this article explains the system behind the jokesand why the punchlines can carry real consequences.

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Somewhere in America, a doctor is doing the thing you’d hope doctors do: listening, examining, thinking, diagnosing,
treating. Somewhere else (often the same place, five minutes later), that same doctor is arguing with a fax machine,
translating medical necessity into a scavenger hunt of codes, and wondering how “patient care” became a competitive
sport called Administrative Tetris.

Enter the physician-comedian: the clinician who can deliver a punchline while holding the emotional weight of a full clinic
day. Their jokes about insurers and paperwork land because they’re not exaggerationsthey’re basically documentary footage,
just with better lighting and fewer hold-music solos.

Why a doctor telling jokes hits harder than a policy memo

When a comedian roasts airport security, we laugh because we’ve all been there. When a doctor roasts prior authorization,
we laugh because the “security line” is now between a patient and their medication, scan, or procedure.

Physician-comedians have become surprisingly effective translators of the U.S. healthcare maze. They personify the system:
the “helpful” insurance rep who isn’t allowed to be helpful, the peer-to-peer reviewer who may or may not be in the same
specialty, the EHR inbox that multiplies like gremlins after midnight. Humor makes people stay long enough to learn
and once you see the absurdity, you can’t unsee it.

Paperwork: the uninvited third person in every exam room

Modern medicine runs on information. The problem is that it often runs on duplicate informationtyped, clicked,
copied, pasted, re-entered, re-justified, and re-submitted in slightly different formats depending on which payer’s portal
you’re trying not to anger today.

The EHR “pajama time” problem (work that follows you home)

A lot of documentation doesn’t happen during the visit. It happens after clinic, after dinner, after the kids are asleep,
after you’ve promised yourself you’re going to be a person with hobbies. In healthcare, we call this “pajama time.”
It’s a cute name for “I’m charting while my life scrolls by.”

And it’s not rare. Large surveys continue to show substantial after-hours EHR time for many physiciansan invisible shift
that doesn’t appear on a schedule template but absolutely appears in burnout rates.

If you’ve ever wondered why your doctor is staring at a screen instead of your face, it’s not because they love dropdown menus.
Notes are expected to do everything: communicate care, satisfy quality measures, support billing, satisfy audits,
justify referrals, prove you counseled the patient, and politely reassure a future reviewer that yes, the patient really did
need the thing you ordered.

The physician-comedian’s version goes like this: “I didn’t go to medical school to become a part-time novelist,
but here we arewriting fan fiction for insurance companies.”

Prior authorization: the boss battle nobody asked for

Prior authorization (PA) is supposed to ensure appropriate use of certain services. In practice, it often feels like
a tollbooth staffed by a rotating cast of portals, forms, phone trees, and fax numbers from a haunted era.

Recent national physician survey data show just how heavy the PA workload is: on average, practices complete dozens of
PAs per physician per week, and physicians and staff spend a double-digit number of hours weekly navigating the process.
Many practices even report staff dedicated exclusively to PA work.

Step therapy: “Try failing first, then we’ll talk”

One of the classic PA plot twists is step therapy: the patient must try an insurer-preferred option (often cheaper)
before the plan will cover the option the clinician actually recommended. Sometimes that makes clinical sense.
Sometimes it’s like telling a mechanic, “Install the wrong brake pads first, then we’ll approve the right ones if the car
continues to be a problem.”

The comedy writes itself, but the consequences don’t: delays can mean prolonged symptoms, missed work, extra visits,
and sometimes a worse outcome because time mattered.

Peer-to-peer review: the “your call is very important to us” Olympics

If PA denial is Act I, peer-to-peer (P2P) review is Act II: a clinician must carve out time during patient care to speak
with a plan representative about a denial. It can be disruptive, time-consuming, andaccording to physician survey findings
many doctors report that the “peer” often lacks the appropriate specialty qualifications to evaluate the request.

The physician-comedian sums it up: “It’s called peer-to-peer, but it’s more like ‘me-to-someone-who-has-never-met-my-patient
and is currently reading from a script-to-me.’”

Health insurers aren’t cartoon villainsbut the incentives can be cartoonish

To be fair, insurers (and the employers/governments paying premiums) face real pressure to control costs and prevent waste.
Utilization management exists for reasons that aren’t entirely imaginary.

The problem is when the system rewards friction. If delaying care reduces immediate spending, friction can become a feature,
not a bugespecially in environments where patients switch plans frequently or give up after repeated hurdles. Even when care is
eventually approved, the delay itself can shift costs elsewhere: follow-up visits, ER visits, complications, and plain human misery.

The “deny now, fix later” effect

Data in Medicare Advantage (MA) illustrates why clinicians get so frustrated: tens of millions of prior authorization requests
flow through MA plans each year. A portion are denied, and a relatively small share of denials are appealedbut when appeals happen,
a large share are overturned. To clinicians, that pattern can feel like the initial decision wasn’t reliably grounded in the
patient’s situation.

A physician-comedian’s translation: “We’re running a game show where the prize is the treatment the doctor ordered in the first place.”

The real cost: delays, harm, and team burnout

Paperwork and PA are often discussed like annoyancesirritating, but survivable. The reality is heavier.
National physician survey results report substantial proportions of physicians who say PA has contributed to serious adverse events,
including hospitalizations and other severe outcomes. That’s not a punchline. That’s the part where the room gets quiet.

Meanwhile, the burden doesn’t land only on physicians. It lands on nurses, medical assistants, front-desk teams, billing staff,
and patients themselveswho may spend hours on the phone trying to decipher coverage rules, formularies, networks, and appeals.

Administrative spending: the U.S. pays extra for complexity

Multiple health policy analyses have found that U.S. healthcare spending includes a large administrative component compared with
peer countries. Depending on the methodology, estimates commonly put administrative spending in a very large range of total spending.
Translation: the U.S. doesn’t just pay more for care; it pays more for the paperwork surrounding care.

The physician-comedian’s version: “We don’t have a healthcare systemwe have a healthcare subscription service
with add-ons, hidden fees, and an escape room built into the checkout.”

What’s changing (slowly): rules, tech, and insurer promises

The good news is that policymakers and regulators have noticed. A major federal rule finalized by CMS in 2024 aims to improve
interoperability and streamline prior authorization processes by pushing more standardized electronic exchange between payers
and providers, including requirements tied to APIs and response time expectations for certain payers.

Some insurers have also announced reductions in PA requirements for certain services and commitments to faster electronic
determinations, under pressure from clinicians, patients, and regulators. Whether these changes meaningfully reduce daily
burden will depend on implementation details: which services are removed, how often requirements creep back, and whether
“electronic” simply means “a new portal with the same old hurdles.”

Technology can helpor it can scale the problem

Automation can reduce manual work, but it can also create “denials at scale” if poorly designed or used without adequate clinical
nuance. Physicians have raised concerns that AI-driven utilization tools could amplify denial rates or make appeals harder,
especially when decision logic is opaque.

Practical survival tips (for clinicians and patients) in the meantime

If you’re a clinician or work in a practice

  • Build a “PA playbook.” Standardize templates for common requests (e.g., imaging, biologics, sleep studies) with the most persuasive clinical details.
  • Track denial patterns. If one payer routinely denies a specific indication, collect examples and escalate through contracting channels.
  • Use team-based documentation when feasible. Models that shift documentation burden appropriately can reduce after-hours work and improve flow.
  • Schedule P2Ps like procedures. Block time, gather documentation, and document the reviewer’s name/role for accountability.
  • Protect the humans. Rotate PA duties when possible and recognize that “paperwork work” is real labor, not filler.

If you’re a patient

  • Ask early: “Does this need prior authorization?” The earlier the process starts, the less likely care is delayed.
  • Request specifics: If denied, ask for the written reason, the policy criteria used, and next appeal steps.
  • Keep a mini-dossier: Dates, names, reference numbers, and copies of letters help when the story gets retold five times.
  • Appeal when appropriate: Even a short appeal can matterespecially if your clinician includes objective details (labs, imaging, prior failures, risks).
  • Use help when available: Many hospitals and clinics have financial counselors or patient advocates who know the maze.

The punchline with a point: humor as advocacy

The physician-comedian doesn’t joke because it’s trivial. They joke because the alternative is to scream into the copier.
Humor becomes a form of truth-telling: it highlights absurd incentives, makes invisible labor visible, and gives patients language
for what they’re experiencing.

The best medical satire also does something sneakyit invites reform without requiring a master’s degree in health policy.
It says: “If this feels ridiculous, it’s because it is.” Then it hands you a flashlight for the maze.

Conclusion

Paperwork and insurer bureaucracy aren’t side quests in American medicinethey’re part of the main storyline. Prior authorization,
step therapy, peer-to-peer calls, portal gymnastics, and after-hours EHR time are not just annoying; they can delay care, drain
teams, and erode trust.

A physician-comedian makes it funny enough to sharebut the goal isn’t laughs for their own sake. It’s clarity. And maybe,
if enough people recognize the absurdity, the system will finally stop mistaking friction for value.


Bonus: from the paperwork trenches (experiences that will feel painfully familiar)

I used to think “practice medicine” meant I’d be practicing medicine. Turns out I’m also practicing interpretive dance
for insurance portals. The day starts with coffee and optimismtwo substances that are both mysteriously non-covered services.
I open my inbox and it’s already throwing punches: “PA required,” “claim rejected,” “please provide clinical notes,” “please
provide different clinical notes,” and my favorite, “please re-fax the fax we lost.”

First patient: needs an MRI because their symptoms are waving red flags like a parade. I order it. The EHR politely asks me to
pick a diagnosis code from a list of 400 options that all sound like Victorian novels. I choose the one that best translates to:
“something is wrong and I would like to look at it with a magnet the size of a small studio apartment.” Five minutes later,
insurance replies: denied. Reason: “not medically necessary.” Which is fascinating, because the MRI is not for my entertainment.
If I wanted entertainment, I’d read the prior auth criteria aloud at open mic night.

Next up: a medication the patient has already tried in the past, didn’t tolerate, and documentedbeautifullybecause I have
become a part-time historian of failure. The plan requests step therapy. Again. I picture the insurer as a gym coach yelling,
“One more set! Fail with cheaper drugs until you earn the right to function!”

Then comes the peer-to-peer call. The scheduler says the reviewer will call between 1:00 and 3:00 p.m. That’s not a window;
that’s a lifestyle. I’m with patients, so I step out between visits like a spy taking a secret meeting, except the secret is
that I’m begging for something I already prescribed. The phone rings. I answer. It’s a robocall about my car warranty.
Honestly? At least the warranty people are confident.

When the reviewer finally calls, I explain the case. They read a script. I explain again, slower, like I’m teaching a class
called “Human Biology for People Who Prefer Spreadsheets.” We end with: “We’ll take it under advisement.” Which means the patient
will wait, I will chart, and the universe will continue to pretend this is efficient.

By evening, I’m homebut my EHR is not. It follows me like a needy pet that only eats my free time. I finish notes because if
I don’t, tomorrow becomes a pile-up. Somewhere in the middle of clicking boxes that prove I did the things I actually did,
I remember why I started telling jokes about this system: because humor is the only way to describe something that is both
absurd and consequential. If I can make you laugh at the maze, maybe you’ll help me build an exit.


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